Our adoption ticker says 9 months, 1 week and 5 days. I guess that could mean that if we were to be able to have a baby the traditional way, we might be nearing the end or already holding our baby in our arms by now. But we are not nearing the end and are arms are still empty. As we wait, I'm reminded of all of the differences we experience on our pathway towards a family, as opposed to someone who doesn't have infertility and is able create their family through pregnancy. Some of these differences can only be understood by someone who has gone through adoption, others are more obvious. Check out my list of differences that we've experienced; sorry if it sounds like I'm negative but sometimes you need to vent these things and I don't really ever talk about this with anyone. Has anyone ever noticed these or thought of other things that I haven't listed?
- Lack of adoption books and magazines at the bookstore: I want to look at magazines and get excited about planning the baby's room, looking at baby stuff, and learn about being a new parent....but I don't really want to read about all of the body changes that occur during pregnancy, the maternity clothes, etc. Barf!
- The "Expectant Mother" space at the grocery store or mall. I'm an expecting mother! I realize I'm not carrying an extra 40 pounds because I'm "not really pregnant", but why do I have to be reminded of this every time I grocery shop!
- Lack of Adoption Cards at greeting card stores. There's an entire section/aisle devoted to baby showers, new pregnancy, and new baby. To date I have found one card for adoption purposes.....one!
- Baby Showers - This is kind of on the fence for some adopting parents. Bryan and I have decided against this before we have placement. As you can see we have enough reminders on a daily basis that we don't have a baby yet; we don't need to come home to an empty baby's room filled with toys, crib, and baby clothes on top of that.
- Baby Registry - Speaking of showers, we can't even register yet because we need to put a "due date" on the registry. So it's not like we can get excited about baby by registering for some goodies now. We have to wait until we are actually matched.
- Websites - The Bump, Baby Center, etc. all are geared towards women who can get pregnant and create their family by that method. I get most of my info from blogs....that God for them!
- Movies and TV shows depicting Adoption incorrectly:
- Glee: Idina Menzel basically saunters into the hospital like she's on a Sunday stroll and points to a baby and says, "I'll take that one". Ok, maybe not quite that, but it was ridiculous.
- Lifetime: Always shows a birth mother plotting to kidnap their baby at the playground or something crazy like this. In reality, birthmothers are amazing and are nothing like that.
- The Orphan: Do I need to even comment on this movie?
This is just what I can think of at the top of my head. I know there is so much more. Our pathway to have a little baby is so amazing, but also so overwhelming at times. But, like my sister always says, "you are closer to having a baby today than you were yesterday". Ok...you are right my sis!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
We're back!
Sorry for being MIA lately. Bryan and I have been very busy with work related things which has taken us away from our blogging and has kind of been a distraction from our waiting period. We continue to wait for our family - nothing new has been happening on the adoption front with the exception of all of our family and friends' generous donations to our coffee fundraiser. We have a long way to go, but we are closer than where we were yesterday.
We know that there is roughly a dozen of you out there reading our posts and we appreciate that you are following along. It's almost been a year now that we have been paper pregnant - can't believe that time flies so fast. Though we have been distracted by work, we continue to long for our little family to grow. So, please keep the prayers and well wishes coming. We'll keep on posting to our little family of followers and hopefully we'll be able to post some good news in the next coming year.
Thanks again everyone!
We know that there is roughly a dozen of you out there reading our posts and we appreciate that you are following along. It's almost been a year now that we have been paper pregnant - can't believe that time flies so fast. Though we have been distracted by work, we continue to long for our little family to grow. So, please keep the prayers and well wishes coming. We'll keep on posting to our little family of followers and hopefully we'll be able to post some good news in the next coming year.
Thanks again everyone!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Just Love Coffee Fundraiser
Bryan and I are starting to get our fund raising ideas flowing. Many of you know that we love coffee, and appropriately named, Just Love Coffee Company is very generous in helping many adopting families out there raise funds to help them start their families. Please view our page and tell your friends and neighbors to order coffee. Just Love Coffee donates $5 dollars for every bag of coffee sold. So order your coffee today and drink up people! Everyone we know appreciates a good caffeine buzz.
http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheBarts
http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheBarts
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Positive Adoption Language (PAL)
I saw this the other day from Adoptive Families and from a different blog and wanted to share.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Is anybody out there?
We haven't blogged much lately for multiple reasons. One - we are in the waiting phase, which doesn't have a lot of action to it; and two - we aren't sure we have many followers, aside from the couple individuals we regularly speak to anyways. I'm just wondering...who are we blogging to?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Time...Clocks....Calendars
The Waiting Game....part of adoption that most every adopting couple can commiserate with. "I can't imagine what that would be like." A statement I've heard from various people. It's really hard to explain what it's like. Some days are good...some days aren't so good. Though, a response like that is vague and doesn't really grasp what it's like. I contemplated how to explain the feelings associated with "waiting" and am going to go ahead and try to explain....at least from my point of view.
Imagine a clock and a calendar...sitting side by side. You'll notice that the clock is missing numbers; the calendar is missing days. Then, as if a cell replicating, the clock becomes two...the calendar as well. Except this time, one calendar is full and one clock is spinning. The other calendar is completely empty, the other clock is stopped.
I signify the full calendar and the spinning clock as one part of our lives. This calendar is full of work schedules, the gym, household chores, cooking, and spending time with friends.
The empty calendar and stopped clock signify the part of our lives that is uncertain, unknown, waiting to be filled.
Now imagine juggling the full calendar and the empty calendar. The full calendar keeps your mind off of the empty calendar....but then something triggers the empty calendar to fall....a young couple with a stroller, another holiday with the absence of a child's joyful squeals on Christmas morning, another birthday passed without being called mom or dad, the sound of a child's laughter. Suddenly, the only thing in your hands is the empty calendar and it seems that your full calendar exists without you...circling around you.....life is suddenly happening to everyone else but you.
This sometimes happens, where both the empty calendar and the full calendar are separated. But most of the time, the juggling subsides and we are able to exist in one calendar, one clock. But, like in the calendar and clock above, you'll notice that our calendar has some numbers that are missing. We continue our lives as it has always been....but something is missing in our lives...and we wait for it to be filled.
Imagine a clock and a calendar...sitting side by side. You'll notice that the clock is missing numbers; the calendar is missing days. Then, as if a cell replicating, the clock becomes two...the calendar as well. Except this time, one calendar is full and one clock is spinning. The other calendar is completely empty, the other clock is stopped.
I signify the full calendar and the spinning clock as one part of our lives. This calendar is full of work schedules, the gym, household chores, cooking, and spending time with friends.
The empty calendar and stopped clock signify the part of our lives that is uncertain, unknown, waiting to be filled.
Now imagine juggling the full calendar and the empty calendar. The full calendar keeps your mind off of the empty calendar....but then something triggers the empty calendar to fall....a young couple with a stroller, another holiday with the absence of a child's joyful squeals on Christmas morning, another birthday passed without being called mom or dad, the sound of a child's laughter. Suddenly, the only thing in your hands is the empty calendar and it seems that your full calendar exists without you...circling around you.....life is suddenly happening to everyone else but you.
This sometimes happens, where both the empty calendar and the full calendar are separated. But most of the time, the juggling subsides and we are able to exist in one calendar, one clock. But, like in the calendar and clock above, you'll notice that our calendar has some numbers that are missing. We continue our lives as it has always been....but something is missing in our lives...and we wait for it to be filled.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)